Things I'll Never Say.

The things you will never know because I will never be able to tell you.
Like how my heart still hearts after nearly a year.
How I still cry sometimes because the things you did still hurt like they happened yesterday.
That Valentine's Day will never be the same for me ever again.
For as many wonderful things you gave me, you were able to single-handedly practically erase almost all of them with of the horrible things you gave me.
You were the straw that broke my back. My expectations of others are now non existent.
That my anger exceeds my sadness enough to keep you far, far away from me.
I have often wanted to kick you in the balls.
Completely moving on has been very hard.
I have considered giving in and living a life in question just to be out of the misery that it is to be in limbo.
You were it for me. And I was left with no Plan B. And for the last year I have been forced to come up with one and can't seem to get it together.
If we ever got back together, I fear I would always be wondering what I missed out on to be with you...that someone would have treated me a lot better.
Sometimes I miss you but just as I start to miss you I start to think of everything you did to me.
Pants and socks.
Some days I'd give anything to erase those 18 months.
I worry that you're the only one who can make all this go away. So far, no one else can. Not even me.