I know I want to have someone to come home to at night. I know I would like to have one more child but not after 30 if I can help it. I know that I want to be "normal" and have a "normal" relationship that I don't manage to sabotage. I know I don't want a wedding...I want something private. I know that I will never have any of these things until I figure out what it is inside me that keeps people at a safe enough distance. I know I want to have blinders on for one man and vice versa. I know I want to one day get out of this lifestyle and go to bed at a normal time and get up at a normal time and make breakfast every morning and dinner every night.
I know I want.
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