Maybe this is me being overly cautious, but with all the pressures you have going on in your life from the people around you, I want to make sure I am not one of them. I want you to enjoy your time around me and not feel it to be a burden, a whine session, as someone who needs you to nurse them, or a case of you having to lay the smack down. I was trying to be pretty aware of my place with you even before we had our conversation yesterday and I couldn't tell if you were telling me your situations to warn me or if you were just venting to me.
I am sincerely sorry and embarrassed over the Kacey thing. It never even occurred to me for one minute that you guys might date. Not that there's anything wrong with that in the least--it just never crossed my mind that it would be a possibility. Sometimes you see people's friendships with each other and nothing past that. Like if me and John dated. That would never happen. I guess that's kinda how I saw you and Kacey.
I have never been certain of my place in your life. For various reasons. Probably most of them are in my head. But what I do know is that we typically find solace and peace in each other and I hope that we always will do that. My green eyed monster will rear it's ugly head from time to time but I have been able to squash it down pretty well. It's more if it just being in my nature than anything concrete or tangible or for any good reason for that matter. And it will never keep me from wanting to be friends with you.
I hope your day is going well.
30 pushups down. 70 to go. And the rest of my day before work will be spent in the salon chair. I'll have to do some pushups at work I guess!
I love you. A whooooooole bunch.
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Here's my second attempt:
ReplyDeleteI was venting more than anything. I got too wrapped up in too many people's drama before I left and i tend to want to help people and get frustrated when they don't help themselves. I'll listen and do what I can, but at a certain point I become unsympathetic when it becomes apparent that people want me to just do it for them. It's even more frustrating to me when I start thinking of myself and people get angsty because I'm not spending that time on them.
Don't be too concerned over the Kacey thing. I don't know that anything is even there; I just saw the change in her and recognized the possibility that maybe there was and wanted to see where it might go.I know it was a sudden change of pace and might not have been easy to recognize, so I'm not mad about it, trust me.
Your place in my life is absolutely certain. You'll always be a part of it.